The best day I've ever had.

This was a drafted post from November last year, I thought I would share it because I still look back on this day as the best day of my life.

I'm loving where I am right now.

I love my age, my friends, my family, the way I look, the way I feel, the fun I'm having and my beautiful home town.

I'm visiting Byron Bay at the moment.

And yesterday was one of the most perfect days I've had in a long time!

I met up with a new friend, and had a lovely day hanging out and chatting about nothing and everything.

We walked to the lighthouse (with no shoes! ouch!) hung out at the most easterly point, and had a dip in Little Wategoes Beach and a beer at the Beach Hotel.

The beach yesterday was the most beautiful I had seen it in a long time!

Last night I saw The Grates play at the Great Northern Hotel, with my best friends.

(Perfect girls night out)

As expected, The Grates were amazing! I've seen them play a few times, and they never disappoint me.

Fifty percent of what they played was from their very first album, one I listened to in school. Everyone loves some vintage right?

Hats off to Patience for absolutely owning the teeny tiny Backroom stage!

That girl was made for performing, she puts every inch of energy she possesses into jumping around and putting on a show.

The way it should be.

Then, to top it off, my best friend Meredith and I ran into her out the back of The Northern, and she told me she thought my hair looked like a mermaids hair.

Winner!

Best day of my life to date.

And it was so simple.

Lesson learned.

Xo

2 month hiatus & another sad goodbye.

12:47 am

I should be drifting off, its been a big day.

I could say that about every day I guess.

I've finally decided to post something again. It's been a while.

Getting internet hooked up at my new house has been harder than we thought.

I've written a lot of whats going on down of course, but its just a matter of piecing all these silly little thoughts that come out of my fingertips into something that makes sense with no context for you all I guess.

Its amazing what can happen in a matter of months.

It just goes to show, that although my life is speeding past before my eyes, so much living is happening in the meantime.

I'm happy with that.

To fill you little birds in, my little summer fling I mentioned, flew all the way into the colder months.

We have spent almost every weekend together since we met, and have moulded into a couple that is not a couple.

(I'm sure at least a few people can relate to that right?)

The situation with this guy sucked from the start.

He isn't Australian.

I met him in his first week here, so no matter what we would have turned into, it had an expiry date once he leaves.

I talked to one of my very good friends Angus tonight, who was once in the same situation. He told me that no matter how hard you try to not get attached, once you let someone in, its inevitable.

I tried so hard, and in my own opinion, did a damn good job.

When I first moved into my house, I wrote this;

1.4.12

Hi friends.

Writing from my new little house, exciting right?

I've moved into a beautiful old home, covered in vines and rose gardens, with high ceilings and a fireplace in my bedroom.


Yeah, I'm happy.


It's the first home I've moved into that is completely unfurnished and I get to start from scratch.
My sister and I just returned from a late night hike around the neighborhood to take old furniture people leave out on the street.


In a few months our new little home with be a paradise of mixed and muddled treasures, each with their own story!!








So as I mentioned in my last post, I don't have internet at my house right now, so needless to say I won't actually be posting this for a while.. if at all.


I've gotten myself into a little bit of a pickle.










My aforementioned late summer fling has swung right through to Autumn, and it isn't exactly slowing down.
We are almost at the point where we are some kind of unnamed something.






It started off as a fun thing, just having fun for the sake of having fun. We got along well and were around each other all the time.
 We both have talked about our current opinions on relationships and agreed that at this moment in time we are both happy being single and available, and, excuse my boldness, are both happy to have some fun, no strings attached.


I make careful effort to never let him in.










This is the basis of our relationship right now; we hang out every weekend. We chat about music, work, traveling, his life, my life, and we have a whole lot of fun together.
When we leave each other after the weekend, its not awkward and weird at all. He casually says "Have a good week, see you next weekend" and kisses me goodbye.




















So, at which point does 'sleeping together' actually turn into something more?
Is it something that just falls into place and you just carry on without talking about it? Or at some point does a conversation have to happen?


I'm not scared of a conversation about us and what we are.
What I am afraid of is if we do talk about it, one of us will scare the other and we will lose what we do have, which is guilt, emotion and stress free fun.












On one hand, I like what we have right now. Its fun and easy, and having that conversation will only ruin it.
I'm not an idiot. What he has right now is every guys dream; he is single with all the perks of having a girlfriend, (I'm not going to spell that one out for you) I guess I feel the same, I like the freedom, but there is a certain comfort in knowing you've got somebody.


Here is the hiccup; the more time I spend with him, the more I don't want him to leave. I find my mind playing around on him more and more.
He will leave eventually, within a couple of months. He is a traveler so its inevitable.
So on the other hand, I find myself wondering if it would be easier on myself if I cut myself off now.
I was so happy being (properly) single a few months ago, I could go back to that.


But I know I'm not going to do that. I don't have the strength to just cut out a person I genuinely have feelings for to save myself the heartache later.




Looks like for now, I'm just going to keep enjoying my weekends of guilt and stress free, perhaps not so emotionless, fun with him.
If its not going to last, may as well have a fucking good time and keep the good memories.

Back to today;

I guess its nice to read that and know I was not stupid about the whole thing. I genuinely tried so hard to not feel a thing.

He is leaving tomorrow, moving to Brisbane. 

Saying goodbye to people, when you know it might be a permanent goodbye is actually the worst. It's close to the most horrid feeling on earth. I've felt it too much. I have such an appreciation for everyone I meet that I get it all the time.

I can't be overly sad because I knew it was coming. We were never anything and its time to move on.

With less than 24 hours left, I may as well jump off the internet and spend some time with him.

At the end of the day it's all about living in the moment, right?

Right?

:-(












xx

Ps, I've missed you guys <3