I say, power to the peaceful!

We can chase down all our enemies, bring them to their knees, we can bomb the world to pieces, but we can't bomb it into peace.
Violence brings one thing; more and more of the same.
Military madness, smell of flesh and burning pain.
I sing out to the masses, stand up if your still sane...



Love to the peaceful.

in reference to...II

This, my friends, is called making the best of any situation.





Christmas lunch with my sister, brothers and step dad.
I even got to pull a bon bon and read out a joke.
I love my family!

Xo

Believe in nothing and you'll go nowhere!

I was about to write how uninspired and boring I feel lately.

Then came across this on YouTube;








Apparently this little guy passed away on Christmas Day, he only uploaded the video on YouTube a little over a week ago.



Now, I am not religious in any way, in fact when it comes to organized religion, I honestly think the world would be better without all the politics of it all.
But I'm a big believer in people having the freedom to believe in what ever it is they want too believe.
I know for me, having faith in the thought that there are angels or spirits or what ever it is you want to call it, watching us makes me happy and never ever alone.

I guess for this guy it would be the same feeling; believing that there is something else to come when our time is up, knowing that life could be taken from you at any second, it would be such a comfort.






:)
Just when I thought I wouldn't find anyone else to inspire me.















On an unrelated note, I bought new art supplies today! I'm off to do some little ink drawings, like the ones I used to do in high school.
(It's amazing how much I've returned to my old (pre-relationship) high school self in the past 6 months! What with writing more, drawing more, reading more, got my own old taste in music back, and just a general positive change in attitude towards life. I'm back to how I was meant to be! I think what I've learned most in this whole thing, is to find somebody who not only accepts everything that you are, but embraces and encourages absolutely everything about you, especially the little things that makes you, well, YOU!)
I love lifes little hidden messages. Thankyou!

Would you look at that, I inspired myself.




:)

A solo Christmas

Solo Christmas
After a mere 22 years of living I've finally experienced a Christmas on my little lonesome.

It's 6:03pm and The only human contact that wasn't through a phone line was when my italian housemate asked me how to use the bbq, and when I was my friend Louis at the 24 hour bottle shop (lonely glass of red wine is totally acceptable on Christmas!)


So now just having a little listen to The Scene Aesthetic, (Constant Motion is actually on repeat!) And chatting away to various family members on the phone.

Although can't get facetime to work, so missed out on seeing my adorable 3 year old cousin!



Christmas is most definitely a time to be spent with loved ones. All I can think about today is how much I love my family, and how every Christmas I am reminded of that!
I'm not religious at all, so to me, Christmas is just about friends and family. A day purely dedicated to appreciating the family you have, including the ones you choose!

If I am stuck here next year, I will most definitely be spending it chatting to other people who don't have families, 'cause nobody should be alone on Christmas! I'm thinking soup kitchens etc etc. Yes, yes, I do like that idea :)







Merry Christmas everyone <3

man, nothing is out of reach

I don't know how I feel today.
Tired, mainly.
A tad lonely. But at the same time, whatever the opposite to lonely is.

And happy, I am always happy. Thankfully.








I've been listening to quite a bit of Aussie hip hop lately. A few months ago, I effing HATED Aussie hip hop

.
It all started at Splendour in the Grass in July/August. I was working at one of the bars there (getting paid to go to Splendour, that's right)


I can't remember who was playing, but one of the headlining acts, I'm thinking perhaps Kanye West or Coldplay, was playing at the main stage, so naturally the entirety of the punters were there, leaving hardly anyone anywhere else, including our bar.

So my friend Liz and I decided to sneak down and watch the artist playing at the closest stage, which just so happened to be Bliss N Eso; old school hip hop.


I don't know if it was the excitement that I was getting paid by the hour to do something I normally fork out $100's to do, but I remember there and then my opinion just switched.

Just like that, I thought 'hold up, this shit is fucking awesome!'

And that was that. Simple.




They had the most amazing show, so much energy and enthusiasm to be back out and doing what they love.

I think what I loved most was the time that they took to thank everyone for seeing them over Coldplay (There was seriously only about a thousand people there; emptiest I've ever seen a Splendour tent at night)
One of them had a really heart felt speech about music appreciation, and how he does what he does for people like us.
It was nice, (It's no secret, I'm a sucker for things like that)




So naturally, I leave Splendour and start collecting a heap of hip hop to add to my iTunes genre list.
Of course, Hilltop Hoods makes a big dent. I think I might have their whole discography now!





Funny thing is, Splendour in the Grass 2009, I remember my ex boyfriend wanting to see Hilltop Hoods, and I whinged and whined the whole way to the stage all about how hip hop is ridiculous and something about the whole bad culture etc etc.
I'd like to give my 20 year old self a slap and a Bliss N Eso Album, and tell her to get her head out of her pretentious ass.

So now, after a few months of listening, I'm absolutely obsessing over their lyrics, I love them! (Scrawling them through my sketch books is a massive expression of love from me)
Stringing words together has always been something I admire in people, I love people who can write in a way that it turns into a form of art in itself. And those lyrics are fucking art.






Moral of the story; Give everything a chance kids.
You might just find you have a tiny place in your heart for almost anything.











(P.S I know my writings been boring and opinionated lately, I've fixed my sleeping pattern, can you notice?)

A message to my family;

I cannot think of one time when hatred, dwelling on the past and wanting revenge has ever got any of us anywhere. Not everybody deserves forgiveness, but forgetting lets me move forward happy.



<3

the difference one person can make.

I'm going to write about my Dad tonight.

He has been playing on my mind tonight and I finally feel like I have a few things to share :)
(Nobody ever asks, so I never have really talked about my Dad with anybody)







My Dad told me he always knew I was going to be a girl, he never even picked out boys names. He just knew.
My Mum and him broke up when I was a baby, I don't mind because it has impacted me positively :)
(VERY long story short) When I was 11, I moved to Byron Bay to live full time with my Dad, I am his only child, and he loved me so much.
The things I have found out in the past few years that he did for me, without me ever knowing, all the sacrifices he made and the battles he fought, and sometimes lost, to have me, and how he never, ever gave up makes me know I had the perfect father, for me.



He died when I was 18, nearly 4 years ago. He died because another man caused him too, simple as that, no matter what the law says.
It was quick, one day he was leaving to go on a weekend away, the next I get a 6am call that he is on life support.
And a day later, no more Dad.



In one weekend that was supposed to be spent with friends at Summafieldayze Festival, I lost my best friend, my biggest hero, the one person who to me was invincible and I thought would always be here.



I come from a big family, so I have always been taken care of, I always have and always will have a place to go if all else fails, my family love me and I know will always help me if I ever needed it.
I am so, so, SO incredibly lucky to have every single one of them. I honestly think I am one of the luckiest people in the world, despite what life has thrown at me.



The very last time my Dad and I saw each other, I was mad at him, because he couldn't drive me to work that day and I had to pay for a cab. I was so mad, I was sending him angry texts all afternoon, just venting some teenage steam.
I thank whoever in the sky told me to do it, but in the last one I wrote something like "Have a great holiday, love you" which I remember was meant to be sarcasm because I was so mad.. it was a pretty out of the ordinary thing for me to write at the time if I was mad, imagine that.





Everybody, if you love somebody, tell them, whether it be an old friend, new friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband or family. People deserve to know how they impact your life, and how they make you feel.

When people inspire me, I tell them, they should know they have made a difference to somebody.

I hardly ever fight with people I love these days, I hate it.
I will never, ever lose somebody else without them knowing how much I love them, or just how they have changed me, no matter how small a change.




So, to my Dads side of the family, in particular, my Uncle and Grandpa; No matter how independent I like to think I am, I will always need you both, and you guys are always here for me. You all try so hard to make sure I am okay, and I promise I always have been, but knowing you guys all care as much as you do makes all the difference.

My Nan, she is the strongest woman I know. A testament that no matter what life throws at you, keep going, because there is always SOMETHING to live for. You just have to be patient.

My Mum, she has helped me in life in a way so different to how people understand help, that she doesn't even know she does it, and I don't think I'll ever find somebody who quite understands, but she should know that she makes a positive impact on her daughters life, she makes her daughter a better person.

My sisters and brother, you guys are proof that no matter how I feel about myself sometimes, I am not entirely self centered and selfish ;)
You guys are probably the only people on earth I would take a bullet for. I am so protective of the three of you, and wish I could do everything for you all. I know I am a distant sister, but I am always thinking about you all.

My friends, you all know what you do for me. You are my sisters.








My Dad, who raised me from the age of 11, so never heard how much he meant to me, instead, he got teenage bitchiness and an unappreciative, messy, hormonal brat.

He loved me, more than I have ever heard of a parent loving their child, he did everything he could to make me happy, and if not always happy, to make me a better person. He sacrificed so much, and the fact that he did it, intentionally without me knowing, makes it mean even more.
I could write for hours about the way he raised me, and how it made me who I am. I'm sure he made me a good person. In the last four years, I have changed even more, even though he is gone, he still makes an impact on me and how I live my life.





A lot of people talk about my Dads legacy, being all that he achieved in his life, which was so much. He built something from nothing, and was so successful and had to fight so many battles to get to where he was.

He did everything his way and it was an honest and good contribution to the world.

He was a genuinely good person.










Tonight Ive decided my Dad's real legacy is going to be me.
I am his only child, and at the end of my life, when we meet again, he is going to be so proud to be my father.
I want to be a good person, just like him.
I am going to help people when they need it, and make a difference, whether it be to one small person, or a million.
I am also going to be successful in whatever it is I do. Starting right now. Every single thing I do will be for him.










He is going to be in heaven with all the rest, looking down saying "That's my girl"






It's taken me nearly four years to get that out, now that I'm exhausted, its time to sleep, I have a difference to make in somebodys world tomorrow :)
Sweet dreams, and tell your family you love them.

xo