the difference one person can make.

I'm going to write about my Dad tonight.

He has been playing on my mind tonight and I finally feel like I have a few things to share :)
(Nobody ever asks, so I never have really talked about my Dad with anybody)







My Dad told me he always knew I was going to be a girl, he never even picked out boys names. He just knew.
My Mum and him broke up when I was a baby, I don't mind because it has impacted me positively :)
(VERY long story short) When I was 11, I moved to Byron Bay to live full time with my Dad, I am his only child, and he loved me so much.
The things I have found out in the past few years that he did for me, without me ever knowing, all the sacrifices he made and the battles he fought, and sometimes lost, to have me, and how he never, ever gave up makes me know I had the perfect father, for me.



He died when I was 18, nearly 4 years ago. He died because another man caused him too, simple as that, no matter what the law says.
It was quick, one day he was leaving to go on a weekend away, the next I get a 6am call that he is on life support.
And a day later, no more Dad.



In one weekend that was supposed to be spent with friends at Summafieldayze Festival, I lost my best friend, my biggest hero, the one person who to me was invincible and I thought would always be here.



I come from a big family, so I have always been taken care of, I always have and always will have a place to go if all else fails, my family love me and I know will always help me if I ever needed it.
I am so, so, SO incredibly lucky to have every single one of them. I honestly think I am one of the luckiest people in the world, despite what life has thrown at me.



The very last time my Dad and I saw each other, I was mad at him, because he couldn't drive me to work that day and I had to pay for a cab. I was so mad, I was sending him angry texts all afternoon, just venting some teenage steam.
I thank whoever in the sky told me to do it, but in the last one I wrote something like "Have a great holiday, love you" which I remember was meant to be sarcasm because I was so mad.. it was a pretty out of the ordinary thing for me to write at the time if I was mad, imagine that.





Everybody, if you love somebody, tell them, whether it be an old friend, new friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband or family. People deserve to know how they impact your life, and how they make you feel.

When people inspire me, I tell them, they should know they have made a difference to somebody.

I hardly ever fight with people I love these days, I hate it.
I will never, ever lose somebody else without them knowing how much I love them, or just how they have changed me, no matter how small a change.




So, to my Dads side of the family, in particular, my Uncle and Grandpa; No matter how independent I like to think I am, I will always need you both, and you guys are always here for me. You all try so hard to make sure I am okay, and I promise I always have been, but knowing you guys all care as much as you do makes all the difference.

My Nan, she is the strongest woman I know. A testament that no matter what life throws at you, keep going, because there is always SOMETHING to live for. You just have to be patient.

My Mum, she has helped me in life in a way so different to how people understand help, that she doesn't even know she does it, and I don't think I'll ever find somebody who quite understands, but she should know that she makes a positive impact on her daughters life, she makes her daughter a better person.

My sisters and brother, you guys are proof that no matter how I feel about myself sometimes, I am not entirely self centered and selfish ;)
You guys are probably the only people on earth I would take a bullet for. I am so protective of the three of you, and wish I could do everything for you all. I know I am a distant sister, but I am always thinking about you all.

My friends, you all know what you do for me. You are my sisters.








My Dad, who raised me from the age of 11, so never heard how much he meant to me, instead, he got teenage bitchiness and an unappreciative, messy, hormonal brat.

He loved me, more than I have ever heard of a parent loving their child, he did everything he could to make me happy, and if not always happy, to make me a better person. He sacrificed so much, and the fact that he did it, intentionally without me knowing, makes it mean even more.
I could write for hours about the way he raised me, and how it made me who I am. I'm sure he made me a good person. In the last four years, I have changed even more, even though he is gone, he still makes an impact on me and how I live my life.





A lot of people talk about my Dads legacy, being all that he achieved in his life, which was so much. He built something from nothing, and was so successful and had to fight so many battles to get to where he was.

He did everything his way and it was an honest and good contribution to the world.

He was a genuinely good person.










Tonight Ive decided my Dad's real legacy is going to be me.
I am his only child, and at the end of my life, when we meet again, he is going to be so proud to be my father.
I want to be a good person, just like him.
I am going to help people when they need it, and make a difference, whether it be to one small person, or a million.
I am also going to be successful in whatever it is I do. Starting right now. Every single thing I do will be for him.










He is going to be in heaven with all the rest, looking down saying "That's my girl"






It's taken me nearly four years to get that out, now that I'm exhausted, its time to sleep, I have a difference to make in somebodys world tomorrow :)
Sweet dreams, and tell your family you love them.

xo