taken by the wind.

I am sick today.

I thought yesterday that I had hay fever, and woke up this morning with an awful flu.. Not the best way to start a three day weekend.



So, I've spent the better part of the day sleeping, a small part making occasional trips to my kitchen to boil water to make chamomile tea with honey, and a huge part watching old feel-good girly movies.

12:23am


Of course sleeping all day has set my sleeping pattern backwards, so I'm in for a long late night of much too many thoughts going through my mind.


That is where you come in, my lovely little internet blog where I spill it all, Thank god for you.


(I hate to think about the small section of the Amazon jungle I took from filling out my notebooks for so many years)













I am feeling trapped tonight.
(No doubt because I've been confined to my teeny tiny bedroom for over 24 hours)

Trapped in the way that I can't just get up and leave where I am if I wanted too.

Not that I do actually want too; But I like the option.



Since I've moved to Melbourne, I've been all about going out and embracing this new world I've moved too, meeting new people and having as much fun as possible.

I've completely succeeded.

Since being here I've met the most amazing people I didn't know existed and learned amazing things about myself I most certainly did not know.

I've had fun since being here.
And we all know, fun ain't free these days.

I moved here with around $50.
Since working full time I've saved around $50.

I used to be amazing at saving my money, but I just can't seem to justify saving at the moment.
Before I moved here, I always had a goal, something to save up for.
Now I don't.
My goal now is living in the moment, so in saying that, I'm spending everything in the moment.


And all of a sudden, thoughts of wanting to up and leave are coming flooding back (as they do every few months) and I've realized that there is no possibility I could go anywhere, if I really wanted too.
I'm stuck.











Lets just recap on something;
I love Melbourne so much, I don't actually want to leave.
I guess I just feel like the wind should have taken me somewhere else by now.







(drawing I did last August, it was a tattoo I wanted to get, the last time I felt like leaving)








Something to think about.