"Tabula Rasa" - The mind as a blank slate

That's what I feel like right now.

Every and all drips of inspiration have left my body and soul.
Its been weeks since I've written anything down in my numerous journals, let alone on here. Oh, and don't even get me started on my empty sketchbooks in which spiders are now taking up residency.







I just can't seem to figure out why?

They only thing that has changed (as I mentioned in my earlier post) is the fact that I have had my little summer fling.
I'm not stupid; to point out the obvious (to the horror of my family who probably reads this too) we have been keeping each other occupied late at night when I would otherwise been writing mindless words and scribbling down late night thoughts and the occasional epiphany.
However we obviously don't spend 24 hours a day together, so why does my mind feel like a big white canvas to an artist with no paint?







But wait a second.

A horrid question is raised.
Isn't a new friend meant to make you feel more inspired than normal?
Why is it I am only ever at my full creative potential when I am on my own?

Surely there is something wrong with that?




I guess I can narrow this feeling of un-creativeness and un-inspiration down to something else;
I feel lately that somebody has, lets just say, mugged my happiness.


I am, (without sounding conceited; it is the honest truth) usually the happiest person you will find. People tell me this on a daily basis. I always find something to smile about and never let the horrid things that happen to me get to me, and goodness knows there's been a few horrid events in my little life.
Hell, I lost a parent and found a bright side.






I can't seem to pin point this strange feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
In the back of my mind I keep blaming the naughty amount of partying I have done in the past few months.
But we can't just up and blame the festive season for an entire change in attitude now can we?



I hope its just a phase, I have always been the person that people are comfortable to come to if they want to feel happy again, because of my ability to find something good in everything bad life throws at us. I like being that person, I love nothing more than to make people smile with me.


I just want my old attitude back.